


If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will

by Tigi



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:06:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigi/pseuds/Tigi
Relationships: Joffrey Baratheon/Sansa Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Catelyn Stark was watching the door like a hawk and at the same time she scolded herself for it.  
But she couldn't help it, not after everything had gone so terrible in the past few months.  
First Robb......

It still pained her to think about her oldest child, the son that threw everything away to leave his family.  
And he didn't even give them a reason why he did it and Catlyn still wondered why he had left.  
Had he felt pressured because they expected so much?  
Or had it been about becoming independent?  
Had it been a rebellious act?  
Even thinking that seemed wrong, after all it was...Robb.  
Her son who always had been so good and even had been working on getting a business degree with wich he could have joined the family business.  
But instead he ran away, leaving a note so they wouldn't worry.  
They still had gone to the police through, but they simply said they couldn't do something.  
After all Robb was an adult.

And this wasn't where it ended, no, many other bad thinghs had happened not shortly after that.  
Somehow Nedd had miscalculated and now they were in debt.  
They needed money and with a company as big as theirs they needed a lot of it.

Catelyn shuddered at the thought of what that meant, after a lot of arguing Nedd had shown her how much exactly they needed.  
She wasn't any good when it came to math and figures, but she understood that much:  
It was an awful lot.

In the end she didn't knew how long she waited, the only interruption in that awful night had been Arya coming back hours after her curfew.  
For once Catelyn had simply looked at Arya and let her go without any lecture or punishment and Arya in return had gladly accepted that.  
Hours later she heard a car drive into their garage and she knew that Nedd must be back.

With a sigh she got up from her chair and walked too the front door and let him in.  
The cool air that came trough the door woke her up effectively and made her shudder, while Nedd got quitly into the house.

,,How did it went?"asked Catelyn and couldn't help, but feel both hopeful and incredibly sad at the same time.

With a sigh himself Nedd took his coat of and seemed to think of the best way his to tell her the news.  
In that moment the answer already was clear to Catlyn, she could see it in his tired, dark eyes.

,,It went awful."was all Nedd could whisper.

She's our daughter  
And at the same time.....  
She could save us.  
But she is a child.  
My child.  
Can I really..?  
It could.....  
But she....  
Her life would be decided....  
Her love....  
Would their be love?  
Our would she....  
Be alone?  
Can I really do that to her?  
What if...?

,,Is their really no other way?"asked Catelyn her husband and didn't dare to look him in the eyes.  
Not after what he just had told her....

,,I fear that's the only option we have left."replied Nedd and Catlyn shuddered.

,,She is still a child."said Catlyn but it sounded weak in her eyes.  
Life doesn't care if you are a child or an adult, it treats you all the same.

,,She is eighteen an adult."replied Nedd carefully and she heard that he was sadd too, but she couldn't bring herself to comfort him.  
A part of her even hated him right now, fir what he just said.

,,She would have to give up her dreams and hopes for our mistake."replied Catelyn angrily.

,,No she wouldn't, Robert isn't an unreasonable man, he promised me that she will be free to study what she wants."promised Nedd her and then he reached for her hand and softly squeezed it.

,,I will go and wake her up, then we will talk."replied Catelyn and freed her hand out of Nedds, then she calmy walked away feeling Nedds gaze in her.  
She knew he was watching her with sadd eyes, sitting on his chair unmoving.

,,Sansa?"

With a growl she rolled away from the sound of the voice and cuddled herself even more into the blanket.

,,Sansa."

This time she just ignited the voice and didn't show any reaction.  
It was way too early.

,,Sansa, we need to talk to you."

And this time she opened her eyes and turned around only to see her mother standing in her room looking at her with tired eyes and there were bags under her eyes.  
Adding to that her mother's hair was a mess and her clothes were wrinkled, wich seemed so wrong.  
No, something was definitely wrong decided Sansa, her mother never looked anything other then perfect.

Worried Sansa sat up on her bed and looked at her mother, trying to figure put what was wrong.  
She had noticed that her parents had been on the edge the last few weeks, but it wasn't something serious was it?

,,I will let you dress....just come downstairs."told her mother her and looked at her for a moment with sad blue eyes, full of regret before she turned around and left.  
Sansa looked at her while she left and tried to figure out what was going on.  
Was it aomethingh bad?  
It has to be bad, she decided.  
With the way she looked....  
That isn't her...  
And lately all the times dad looked worried....  
Maybe it is Robb....  
But then mom would be happy....  
Even trough she is still angry...  
No it isn't Robb...

Slowly she got up and walked to her cupboards and selected her clothes carefully, even trough she knew her parents were waiting she couldn't help but find a good outfit.  
In the end she took a nice pant that was comfortable and good looking and took a matching blouse in pale blue.

After she dressed she took a brush and shortly fixed her hair until it didn't looked like a mess anymore, only then she hurried down and started worrying again.

How bad is it?  
What do they want from me?  
Is something at work wrong?  
Is one if them sick?

To her relive she found them both sitting in the dining room and both of them looked exhausted, tried and unhappy but at least they didn't looked sick.

They still could be sick without it showing.......  
But Sansa chose to ignore that thought and instead grapped achair and sat down opposite of her parents.

,,We wanted to talk about something....serious to you."began her father and she noticed that he looked even worse then her mother, as if he had aged ten years since she last saw him.

,,Remember you can say no and we will never speak of it again."interrupted Catelyn her father and looked as if that was the most important thing in the world.

And then they told her.  
She said yes.  
Of course she did.  
I have to, she thought.

After all it is my duty.  
As a Stark and a Tully.  
It is what I was raised to do.  
I will be the perfect daughter.  
The perfect wife.


	2. Chapter 2

,,You can't do that!"with furiously sparkling eyes Arya yelled at her mother full of anger and hate.

,,Arya Stark, if you won't calm down...."began their mother but it wasn't exactly helping.

,,...then what? Will you marry me off to somone too?  
Is that your fucking plan?  
You know that's illegal don't you?"snapped Arya lookimg ready to start a revolution right there and now.

,,We aren't forcing her to marry him."defended Nedd their decision, but he looked as if he wasn't so sure himself.

,,Really?  
So Sansa just chose to marry a douchebag she never met?  
Your a fucking liar dad."snapped Arya.

,,Don't talk to your father like that."

,,How should I talk to him them?  
Should I thank him for forcing Sansa to meet a man she doesn't even know?  
How dare you to take that decision from her?"snapped Arya lost in her anger.  
,,How did you got the fucking impression you just can take that from her?  
Don't you know she always wanted to find her great love?"

,,If everything goes well she will find love."defended Nedd their decision .

,,Please, what are the odds of that?  
She isn't going to fall in love with that stupid man.  
No, she's going to regret it and it'll make her miserable.  
But you?  
You don't care....because it's all about his money."the last part Arya whispered as if she hadn't the strength to yell it.  
As if it was too awful for yelling and cursing.  
For a moment Arya just stood there looking lost and broken and for once terrible small, with the fight gone out of her.

,,Arya....."tried Catelyn with a soothing voice and her eyes that had gone soft.

,,Don't."groweled Arya and suddenly found back to her former worrier like self.  
,,Just don't."and with that she stormed out of the room and was as suddenly gone as she had come.

,,She will get over it."promised Catelyn, but her voice was weak and she was obviously shaken by her daughter's outbreak, even trough Arya often was wild.

,,Really?"asked Nedd with his dark eyes full of sadness and exhaustion ,,It is Arya we are talking about, she is pretty stubborn."

,,I will go talk to her."announced Sansa out of the blue and both of her parents just stared at her.

,,I don't think it is the right time, maybe let her....calm down a littel more."advised Catelyn gently.

,,There is no time, I will have to pack a lot and I can't wait for her to calm down, mom.  
I will just need to improvise and I think she needs me right now.  
Somone has to tell her that this was my decision too and that I will stand to it."replied Sansa softly.

,,Of course my dear."

,,I will go then."excused Sansa herself politely and followed her sister quitly upstairs, where she had stormed off too.  
While she made her way towards Aryas room she tried to supress her worries, but she couldn't help herself, after all Arya was her sister and this might be her last chance to talk her, before she had to go.  
And who knew how much time would pass before she could come back.

As soon as she reached the door, she raised her hand and softly knocked on the heavy door, hoping this wouldn't be one of the times that Arya would be in one of terrible foul moods.

,,Come in."came the muffled voice from inside and Sansa slowly exhaled and let herself in.  
As soon as she was inside she was immediatly surrounded by a mess of clothes on the floor.

,,Thanks for talking to me."greeted Sansa awkwardly and tried to figure out what the appropriate way was to handle the situation.  
Try to reason with Arya?  
Explain her reason?

,,You shouldn't let them use you."told Arya her immediatly without greeting her and didn't looked at her sister.

With a sigh Sansa eyed her littel sister, who was lying on her bed with her arms crossed over her chest and starring up at the ceiling.

,,They aren't using me."argued Sansa and tried to keep her voice reasonable and calm, even trough it was hard.  
After all she was soon going to leave her home behind to move to a big city were she would meet her fiance for the first time.  
All she wanted right now was to cling to her home a littel longer, but she couldn't until she had calmed Arya.

,,Really?  
They are practically selling you for money....like an animal."insisted Arya angily and still didn't met Sansas gaze, instead she let out a angry huff.

Aryas comment had hit a nerve, but Sansa tried to let it not show, but she couldn't completly help it ,,I don't even know why you are making such a scene, after all they are sending me away, not you."pointed Sansa out.

,,I am making a scene, because you are to much of a damn fucking lady to make a scene."snarled Arya and for the first time met Sansa eyes.

,,I don't want to make a scene, I just want to do my duty."tried Sansa a diffrent approach.

,,But that's so wrong Sansa.  
Can't you hear yourself?  
It isn't your duty to marry some stupid dude, just because his family has money.  
Damn it Sansa!  
This is like the fucking medieval age all over again, with our family selling their daughter.  
You know that this is sexistic and just wrong, don't you?  
Or are you just too worried to speak up for yourself, because it would be considered inappropriate?"the last words Arya almost yelled before she glared at Sansa once again, her blue eyes burning with rage.

And for once Samsa eyes were burning too ,,No, I am not worried about beeing inappropriate.  
What I am worried about is that without that money, there won't be any Winterfell any longer.  
I won't go to university, because we both know their won't be a scholarship for me.  
And neither will be for you or Bran or Rickon."

,,That's still not enough to justify your desperate attempt to ruin your life forever."muttered Arya.

,,Who knows, maybe he and I will fall in love."

,,This isn't one of your stories Sansa and let's face it, I checked him out and he looks like a damn fucking psychopath."told Arya her coldly.

,,But he looks downright gorgeous."protested Sansa.

,,And that's were the problem lies Sansa, no man looking that good is good."warned Arya her and starred at Sansa as if she tried to make her sister accept that as a fact.  
Sansa didn't.

,,I believe in the good in people."announced Sansa ,,And I think Joffrey is going to be as kind and loving as he looks on the photos."

This time Arya only gave her a pitying look.

............

The ride on the train was....lonely.  
While Sansa looked out of the window she saw the beautiful landscape covered with white snow and she already missed it.  
There would be no snow in Kingslanding and she already dreaded the winters there.  
If it snowed there it wasn't much more then a few inches at most and some winters it didn't snowed at all.  
A winter without snow, it was a strange thought and Sansa couldn't imagine it.  
What would it be like?  
Was it even winter if their was no snow?  
She highly doubted it, after all snow was what made winter so unique.  
With no snow....there was no real winter.

Great, she thought, I am already homesick, after only an hour since I left.  
I could have taken the plane.  
But then I would have missed my last chance to see the landscape.  
It's beautiful.  
While Kingslanding have it's own beauty or will it just be a loud and noisy big city, without any nature in it?  
Will it just be full of cement and plastic?  
Or will there be parks, gardens and threes?

.............

,,When is she going to be here?"

,,Five minutes."came the short answer.

,,Then why are we already here?"muttered Joffrey annoyed and glared at the train station as if it had personally insulted him.

,,Because your mother wanted us to go."replied Sandor starting to get annoyed.  
Normally Joffrey only gave him orders and didn't bother to try talk to him and Sandor was thankful for that.  
After all Joffrey was his boss and not his buddy and he didn't wanted to change that.

,,I saw her photos at least she looks good, mother said we will make a great couple."told Joffrey him and he suppressed the urge to punch the boy right now and then.  
Why did people always had to judge people based on the way they looked ?  
Hearing Joffrey reminded Sandor off all the times people had looked at him and judged him.  
His teachers always had assumed that he was a troublemaker, with his scarred face and broad shoulders.  
They had treated him like a troublemaker too and seemed always to wait for him to explode or to punch someone.  
For a year or two he had pretended that he could fit in.  
He had done very assignment they got and he did all his homework.  
Hell, he even learned for the damn fucking class tests.  
In the end it got him even good grades, but he could never stop them from looking at him.....as if there was something wrong with him.  
In the end he faltered and gave in and punched a guy who had made idiotic comments about his face.  
It wasn't the first nor had it been the last comment, but that day Sandor had decided that it was enough and he used his right hook.  
It felt good.  
It got him detention.  
And the looks the teachers gave him, slightly changed and suddenly they even seemed to look a littel relieved, now that their suspicions were fulfilled.

,,Great."mumbled Sandor after he realised that Joffrey still expected an answer from him.

Then the train rolled in and Sandor felt relieved, because at least now Joffrey could bother the girl instead of him.  
A part of him felt bad for her, because she would have to live with him for the rest of her life.  
But above all he thought she must be completely nuts.  
Marrying a guy she never met.  
Who does that these days?

............

As soon as she made it out of the train she began to start looking for her fiance.  
She had been told that he would meet her and drive her back to her new home.

Luckily she spotted him soon and she couldn't help it, but stare.  
He was gorgeous with soft warm eyes that probably would shine when he smiled.  
And then his face, it just seemed to scream at her that this man was perfect.  
A knight.  
Like one of the brave knights in the stories she loved to read when she was a littel kid.

,,Hello, my name is Joffrey and I am here to welcome you in Kingslanding."greeted the good looking man her with a beaming smile.

,,Thank you very much for greeting me so nicely, I am Sansa."told Sansa him and smiled shyly at him.

,,Well Sansa I hope you enjoy Kingslanding, after all you are going to spent much time here."replied Joffrey and smiled at her reassuring.  
Then he looked rather luggage with a frown ,,That is an awful lot of luggage, do you really think that was necessary?  
After all we have almost everything here."

,,Well...I wanted to have reminders of home, I am sorry if that's a problem."apologised Sansa feeling rather guilty.  
Everything had gone so well, until her luggage had become a problem, she hoped that it wouldn't be an issue.  
She would feel terrible if their first problem as a couple would be so soon and about such a trivial thing.

,,Don't worry to much, the Hound will just have to carry a littel more then usual."replied Joffrey with a shrugg, but he still looked displeased and his beautiful smile had vanished.

,,The hound?"asked Sansa a littel confused and tried to make sense of that comment.  
How the hell should a dog carry her luggage?  
And if there was a dog around, then why wasn't she able to spot it?

,,That's me."answered the rough looking man behind Joffrey and looked at her with unforgiven grey-blue eyes.

,,Oh I am sorry, how rude of me."apologised Sansa and extended her hand towards him, while she desperately tried not to stare at the ruined side of his face.  
But it was really hard, because there....there were scars and his ear?  
There seemed to be no ear anymore, just a hole and she wondered if he even could hear with it anymore.  
And it wasn't only the front of his face that was ruined, no it didn't stopped at his hairline, maybe because there was no hair anymore.  
Sansa could tell that he was missing the hair, even trough he had combed the hair he did have over the part were he had no hair.

,,If you don't want to be rude, then quit starring."rasped the tall man at her, looking at her without the tiniest hint of warmth.

,,I am so sorry, I didn't meant too...."bubbled Sansa trying to make up for her mistake, but the tall guy only stared at her, with his unreadable cold eyes.

,,Don't worry."reassured Joffrey her gently ,,That dog is glad that you noticed him at all, normally woman like you don't grace something like him with their presence."  
And with that Joffrey softly gripped her by her arm and lead her towards the car and Sansa was glad that he had managed to interfere and help her out.

A dog.  
With a scowl on his face, Sandor gritted his teeth and tried to supress the urge to punch that stupid idiot.  
Instead of letting his anger drive him he swallowed his anger down and picked up the womans luggage and followed the two.

............

,,This is Flea Bottom, it's the ugliest part in the whole city, make sure you never go there, it's full of criminals."told Joffrey and Sansa looked at the city part he just mentioned.  
It didn't looked that bad....okay sure the houses seemed more simple and there were no fancy stores and she could see some houses that looked more like a danger then a home.  
Sure Flea bottom wasn't pretty, but she wouldn't have thought that it was dangerous.  
But now that Jofffrey had told her, she considered herself warned and she would stay away.

,,Thank you for warning me."replied Sansa and smiled at him ,,maybe you can show me the niece parts of the city?"

,,Maybe, I don't like to go shopping, but I will arrange something."assured Joffrey her.

Sure, thought Sandor, I bet you will tell some else that your fiance wants to see the city.  
I already feel bad for whoever has to do that.  
After all I have never see such a damn fucking brainless woman.  
Damn it.  
She's completly dumb.  
Good looking.  
Beautiful even.  
But stupid.  
Looks never show the true colours of a person, thought Sandor bitterly and glanced at himself in the mirror.  
He looked like a nightmare.

At least I will be rid of them soon, thought Sandor while he drove through the city and ignored whatever Joffrey or Sansa was saying.  
A perfect match, he thought.  
He's a fucking psychopthat.  
She's too dumb to notice.  
Sounded to him like the perfect romance.

.........

Cersei tightly gripped her wine glass filled with her second favourite red wine and tried to ignore Robert's sentimental speech about how excited he was to meet his best friends daughter.  
It gave her a headache.  
And Stannis sitting next to her gritting his teeth didn't made it any better.  
Poor Stannis, who had to sit quietly while his brother went on and on about the man he considered a brother and how excited he was.  
Everyone knew it must feel like a slap in the face for Stannis, after all the work he had done and all the scandals he helped keep quite and he didn't even hit a thank you.  
Cersei always found it hilarious.

At least she could always rely on Jaime, but Stannis?  
He was caught between Robert, the oldest Baratheon brother who was constantly having fun and drinking and Renly, who was niece, funny and good looking, but only interested in dating man of all kinds.

Cersei only snapped out of her thoughts when somebody spoke up.  
,,I think Sansa will arrive soon."pointed Stannis to her suprise out.  
,,I think you should greet her properly."added Stannis when Robert only looked at him confused.

,,Sure, that's what the party is for."reminded Robert him and then stood up and looked at everyone, as if he was trying to remind them that today was important to him.  
By now everyone knows, thought Cersei  
annoyed, after all you rambled on about it for what felt like hours.

,,Let's get started."announced Renly with a bright smile on his face and started to follow Robert.

With a sigh emptied Cersei her glass and refilled it, while she watched everyone leave.  
Maybe that littel girl of Neds would at least be interesting.  
But then she was a Stark.

...........

,,Were there."announced Joffrey with a bright smile, while the car stopped.  
Slowly he got out and opened the car door for her.

A real gentleman, thought Sansa to herself and she almost felt glad that her parents had arranged her marriage.  
And Joffrey hadn't only been a gentleman, he had also smiled at her and made jokes while he winked at her.  
Sansa had felt so comfortable in his presence that she had completly relaxed and just talked to him about what flooded into her mind.

Suddenly she cought sight of the Hound parking the car and then following them up the path towards the house.  
He wasn't a gentleman, thought Sansa.  
No he was rude.

But this wasn't the time to think about the Hound, no this was only about her meeting her finances family.  
Slowly she took the sight of the house in for the first time.  
It was a huge Villa and it was a modern one too, they probably even had some modern art in there, it looked at least as if they had the money for it.  
And as if a huge modern Village wasn't enough, it was surrounded by a beautiful garden that was full of threes, bushes and flowers that were arranged into complicated patterns and figures.

Far to soon for Sansas liking they arrived at the door, she would have loved to spent at least half an hour fawning over the garden.  
But Joffrey was already opening the door and inside his family was waiting.

...........

Neds daughter was a beauty.  
Her red hair seemed to be aflame and immediately drew the eye to her face.  
And her face was lovely, with delicate cheekbones and gracefull eyebrows.  
And her eyes....her eyes were the best of all, coloured in a crystal blue that seemed to let you take a peak at her lovely and kind soul.  
What a shame that this woman would marry Joffrey, thought Renly.

If he hadn't been gay, Renly would have suggested that he could marry her, after all they were only a few years apart in age.  
And he wasn't such a double faced son of a bitch as Joffrey was.  
Looking at her right now Renly regretted not having made the suggestion.  
In his opinion a happy marriage hadn't always to consist of love, a good friendship could be enough.  
Especially when it was an open marriage.

But he feared that Sansas marriage with Joffre would neither be happy nor an open one, no Joffrey would make it living hell.  
Their marriage would be worse then Roberts and Cersei.  
(Wich was filled with poison and landmines ).  
Or Stannis and Selyes.  
(They didn't seemed to be attracted to each other or even like each other.  
How they got a child was still a mystery)

.........

,,Welcome Sansa, it is very niece to finally meet you.  
I hope you don't mind that we a throwing a littel welcome party for you?I thought it would make it easier for you to meet a few people that live in the city or near it."told Robert Sansa in his booming voice and Sansa looked up at him shyly, unsure what to say.  
He was very diffrent from his son with dark, wild hair and taller with a broader built and he was....fatter too with a beer belly.  
But that didn't seemed to slow him down in the slightested.

Luckily for Sansa no answer was required and she could just listen to Robert while he told her all about his and her fathers friendship.  
Finally ten minutes later, after he had made as many jokes a human beeing could think off in ten minutes, Robert introduced her to his brother Renly and left.

,,Quite a party isn't it?"asked Renly smiling at her.


	3. Chapter 3

At first Sansa was completly overwhelmed from the big party and all the people, but slowly she adjusted and began to have fun.  
And then she even had her first dance with Joffrey.  
It was wonderful.  
Then a slow dance came up and she couldn't help but smile.  
True, she had been worried about marrying a man she didn't knew.  
But now she believed it was be best thing that could have happened to her.

While Joffrey came closer and carefully lead her trough the dance Sansa slowly closed her eyes and couldn't help but think of the further.  
We will marry.  
I will be in a beautiful white dress.  
And he?  
He will wear a great suit.  
And it will be in the nature.  
A true northern wedding.  
But nothing of that will be important.  
Important will be what begins that day....  
My new live....  
With him.....  
Beautiful children one day....  
With my blue eyes and his golden hair...  
Or maybe they will have my Auburn hair....  
But what they will have....  
I am sure of that...  
They will smile like him...  
And I will raise them...  
To be gentle like him...  
carefull too.

They will be perfect.  
Like we are.

The music was changing and Sansa opened her eyes to see Joffrey look at her with a frown.  
,,Why were your eyes closed?"asked Joffrey.

,,I was thinking about the future."replied Sansa with a smile at him.

,,Leave that to me."ordered Joffrey her.

Before she could say anything to calm him down, they were interrupted.

,,Can I have the next dance?"asked a cold voice her and she turned suprise around to see Stannis standing before her.  
She only knew his name, because Robert had mentioned him shortly and she hadn't been able to forget his stern face.

,,Of course."replied Sansa, because she was polite, but not because she wanted.  
There was something about Stannis.....something cold and emotionless.  
She had a feeling that he was always like this, cold, collected and always calculating.  
Did it make him happy to always think and to never go with the flow?

While she took his hand she wondered what his wife would think about him dancing with another woman.  
At least Robert had told her that Stannis was married, but he had sounded as if the marriage was a joke.  
A bad joke, but a joke nonetheless.

,,Why did you say yes?"asked Stannis bluntly as soon as they were dancing.  
How impolite thought Sansa, but then maybe that would mean their conversation would be short.

,,It's my duty."answered Sansa truthfully and looked up at him.  
In his cold, unmoving eyes, that looked at her like she was a particular difficult math problem.  
One that he wouldn't leave alone until he had figured it out and only then he would leave.  
But he looked pretty sure that he would figure it out.  
She didn't liked that.

,,Duty."echoed Stannis and looked at her strangely.

,,Yes, duty."replied Sansa, remembering her conversation with Arya.  
What would Arya think of Joffrey?  
Surely even she would see by now that Joffrey wasn't so bad.

,,I thought I did my duty when I joined Robert's company and started working."confided Stannis.

,,Did he need your help?"asked Sansa, while she tried to figure out why Stannis was telling her all of this at all.

,,I thought he did."

,,And now?"

,,I think I made a mistake, back then."

,,You don't have to tell me that I shouldn't marry a man I have never met.  
Plenty of people told me that and I know most people in the room believe it too.  
But I can assure you Mr.Baratheon that I don't need your advice.  
Yes, I will marry out of duty, but I think.....I think I may marry out of love too."

,,Robert married out of duty."pointed Stannis suddenly out.

,,And now he has a family."argued Sansa.

,,Look at them."replied Stannis and turned them so she could see Robert dancing with Cersei.  
Robert was holding her as far away from himself as possible, while Cersei looked as if she wished she had another drink.

,,That won't be me and Joffrey."replied Sansa and then added ,,But I appreciate your concern."

,,It's your choice."replied Stannis stifly and then they were standing still.  
With amazement Sansa reliesed that the song had stopped and their dance was over.  
It hadn't been as unpleasant as she had imagined it.

As soon as they had stopped, Joffrey practically dragged Sansa away from Stannis with a growl.

,,Good god, Sansa he is married."snapped Joffrey with a strained voice, but quietly enough that nobody heard it.  
It almost felt as if he was telling her an ashaming secret.

,,I know."replied Sansa confused.  
What had gotten into Joffrey?  
Looking up at him, she couldn't help but wonder what had changed him...he seemed so diffrent..  
It was frightening.  
He was frightening.  
His formerly so warm green eyes looked at her now with a blank expression.

,,Don't you know how it looks like when you are slow dancing with some guy, while your fiance stands on the sidelines looking stupid ?"snapped Joffrey angrily at her, but he never raised his voice.  
Somehow that even made it scarier.

,,I was just beeing polite, I am so sorry if I upset you."tried Sansa to soothe him.

,,Don't do it again."snapped Joffrey at her before he stormed away.  
Sadly Sansa watched him go and tried to figure put what she had done wrong.  
Should she have said no?  
But that would have been impolite towards Stannis.  
Maybe she could have......

,,Are you really listening to this idiot?"asked a gruff voice behind her and Sansa turned startled around, only to be face to face with the Hound.  
His eyes were still cold, but now they had something mocking to them.  
They rembered her of an cat she saw once that had cought a mouse and toyed with it, while it was still alive.

,,He is my fiance."replied Sansa, hoping that he just would leave her alone.

,,That's not an answer to my question."pointed the Hound out, while he sipped on his wine glass.

,,Maybe their is no answer yet."replied Sansa, in no mood to play games with the man standing before her.

,,There is an answer .....you just don't want to admit it."challenged the Hound her.  
His stormy true-blue eyes seemed to look down at her.

,,Maybe......but how impolite of me."changed Sansa the subject  
,,I am Sansa and I am Joffrey's fiance.  
Can I ask what your name is?"

,,The hound."replied the man calmy but his eyes had narrowed and now there was suspicion in them before it was gone again.

The Hound.  
That can't be his real name....  
Is he mocking me again?  
Why?

,,It's niece to meet you, are you a friend of Joffrey?"asked Sanda trying to make polite small talk and make it less awkward.

,,No."replied the Hound.  
No it's niece to meet you too.  
No explanation.  
No anything.  
He really was impolite.

For a moment Sansa considered making up an excuse and leave him.  
But that would be impolite and just because he didn't seemed to posses any manners, that didn't mean she had to be like him.  
Even trough she wanted to.  
Instead of leaving, Sansa decided to stick to her small talk strategy, now she only needed to come up with an question.  
Maybe she could ask him....another his work?  
No, if he wasn't a friend if Joffrey's he probably would be somone who worked for him.  
And he didn't seemed to like Joffrey, so that probably wouldn't be something you could easily take about.

,,The garden is lovely isn't it?"asked Sansa and the Hound just starred at her.  
As if she just said something totally crazy.  
Sansa couldn't believe him, here she was trying to make polite small talk and he just starred at her!

,,I mean it's so organized and all these beautiful threes, don't you think it's beautiful too?"asked Sansa then with a sweet smile.  
If he didn't wanted to answer or be polite she would be as niece as possible....her own personal way of revenge.

She was talking about the garden.  
The damn fucking garden.  
Off every possible topic....  
Her fiance...  
The city....  
Her home...  
The party....  
Why did she choose the damn fucking garden?

,,Unnecessary work."replied Sandor finally and looked down at her and watched the suprise and then confusion appear on her face and then finally-sadness.  
It was irritating in his opion.  
What the hell had she thought?  
That he would like it?  
One look in his face....and everyone should know that he didn't had a thingh fir beauty.  
If anything he found that beauty was a warning sign.  
After all Joffrey was beautiful.....and Joffrey was Joffrey.  
Sandor still rembered the time he had heard about the cat Joffrey killed.  
In his opion that could only mean one thing   
Joffrey was a psychopath and if this would be a book....then he was a serial killer.  
Maybe Sansa would be his first victim.

,,Why should it be unnecessary work? Isn't it worth the work it makes, just by the way it looks?"asked Sansa with a frown n and looked at him as if he....was put of place, as if he wasn't behaving inappropriate.  
Sandor had seen that face often enough, people looked at him often enough.

,,The people tending to the garden could do real work, something useful."replied Sandor and glared at her with his best angry look.  
Let's see you running he thought.  
In the end they all do....

But she just starred angrily back at him ,,The garden is useful, it helps you relaxing and it gives these people a job.  
Who knows if there even would be a useful job for them out there?  
Maybe all the useful jobs are unavailable."replied Sansa still polite, but Sandor could here an dangerous undertone.  
It was thrilling.  
So let's start the war.

,,Useful?  
Your pretty head really is empty.  
Maybe it helps you relaxing or your other rich friends, but for people like me the garden is a waste."snapped Sandir at her maybe a littel louder then he had intended, because he saw people giving them looks.  
With an angry glare at them he lowered his voice and continued ,,If your head wasn't so full of polite words and empty phrases, maybe, maybe then you would realises it......beauty is nothing."

,,That's wrong."argued Sansa vefiee she cought herself, telling somone that he or she was wrong that was totally impolite....so she continued with softer words ,,Maybe it looks to you like beauty is unnecessary, a waste of work or even....nothingh.  
But just look around you, the world is filled with beauty, everything is beauty.  
Even this room is filled with beauty if you just catch the right angel.  
Do you see Renly over there, next to Stannis?  
The way they are standing there, Renly talking the whole time with a broad smile and Stannis with a littel one he is trying to hide......that's beautiful too."

With a frown Sandor looked at the two brothers... they looked like always, maybe a littel more drunk...  
But that was it.  
There was no beauty he could see.

,,I don't see it."replied Sandor absently blinded and didn't even knew he had spoken until he had said the words.

,,It's there, just look and relax and I don't mean the obvious kind of beauty.  
They are siblings and the way the are standing there, you can almost tell, oy by looking....yes their relationship is complicated, but they love each other."said Sansa and she felt homesick watching the two brothers.  
If only Arya was here....  
Or Robb...  
Good Gods, were was Robb?

,,Now it's just bullshit."stated Sandor as a matter of fact.

God, howxould this man, who refused to give her his name, be so impolite?  
Why couldn't he at least honor her with a reson why it was bullshit?

,,Let's agree to disagree."tried Sansa.

,,No."answered Sandor simply and then he walked away.  
Walked away!  
How could he dare to just walk away?  
What an asshole, thought Sansa while she watched him leave.

,,I see you met our head of security."stayed Cersei as a matter of fact, but it was hard to understand what she just said because she was completly drunk.  
It took Sansa almost three seconds to realises what Cersei just had said.

,,Head of security?"echoed Sansa watching the awful man walk away.  
Sure he had the muscles and certainly the appearance to be a bodyguard....  
But head of security?  
That probably meant she would see a lot of him, wouldn't it?  
Jory had been their head if security in Winterfell and she had seen him almost as often as her father.  
Great.

,,Yes, good at it."added Cersei and then looked at her with narrowed eyes ,,Don't talk to much with him, he is here to work not to talk."

,,Of course."muttered Sansa, feeling rather stupid, but at the same time she felt as if that wasn't right.  
Jory had been like family,extended family maybe, but family nonetheless.  
But maybe that was just how it was handled in a big city like Kingslanding 

,,Good."said Cersei and then stumbled away, probably searching for another drink.

Sansa watched her leave and couldn't believe her eyes.  
Her fist day here and the lady of the house was ready drunk.  
Joffrey's mother for God's sake.

With a look around Sansa tried to find out what to do now.  
Should she get a drink?  
Or look for somebody to talk too?  
And if she would talk to smone should she chose someone she didn't knew...or someone she already knew?

,,Sansa."called a voice her from the other side of the room and she turned her head around in time, to see Renly heading into her direction, with a broad smile on his face.  
Stannis was still standing, where Sansa had seen the brothers talking, with a frown on his face, somehow it looked like that was the way his face always looked.

,,Renly."greeted Sansa her soon to be uncle in law with a polite smile.

,,Why don't you come with me and help me to combine Stannis to have some fun?"asked Renly her and lead her back to Stannis who looked suspiciously at them.

,,I am not going to divorce Selyse."told Stannis his littel brother annoyed and tired.  
Somehow Sansa got the feeling that this wasn't the first time, they discussed it.

,,Oh come on, you are practically already separated."pointed Renly with an eye roll out.

,,We aren't separated, she is just....taking a vacation."tried Stannis and looked completly uncomfortable.  
Immediatly Sansa could sympathise with him, it must be hard to have a marriage that didn't worked perfectly and have other people stick their nose in your business.

,,A vacation that has lasted for three years now, just face it brother, she's not coming back.   
Has she even come to see Shireen?"asked Renly as a matter of fact and sounded as if he was tired of thus argument too.

,,No, she hasn't."said Stannis coldly and then glared at Renly ,,Mind your own business, brother."before he walked away and left them standing.

,,Don't worry about him."told Renly Sansa ,,He's always that cold, sometimes I wonder if he's a robot....but I saw him bleed actual blood, so it's highly unlikely."

,,Who is Shireen?"asked Sansa in the end, hoping with that question she wouldn't enter dangerous territory.

,,My niece."announced Renly proudly ,,She's Stannis and Shireens daughter....in truth we were all suprised they were capable of having children.  
I just can't imagine Stannis having fun with any woman....or man.  
He should relax sometimes, more like....me.  
So Sansa, did you have any boyfriends so far?"asked Renly her with a broad smile.

Sansa blushed and tried to decided if she even should talk to Renly about that.  
After all she was going to marry his nephew....  
What if this was just an interrogation?

,,Don't worry, I am asking only out of curiosity."assured Renly her ,,I certainly won't judge, the list of my boyfriends goes on and on...."

Well maybe, she could really trust him....  
,,There were a few, but nothing really...serious.  
They all seemed to have no long relationship in mind."admitted Sansa.  
She had always wondered why the boys she dated, were always so obsessed with doing everything as fast as possible and left her so soon.  
They never seemed to stick around.

,,Maybe you should relax more...have some fun."advised Renly.

Sansa could only stare at him.  
She was going to marry his nephew, was he really suggesting that she should....cheat on him?

,,I am going to marry soon."told Sansa him slowly.

,,Considering you marry Joffrey, I strongly suggest an open marriage.  
Trust me, you don't want to be stuck with him for a life time."warned Renly herand the smile was gone from his face and his blue eyes met hers unflinching.

,,Well....thanks for the advice."replied Sansa.

,,Don't look so shocked...you will see over time Joffrey is pretty but the girls never stick around......."

Renly left shortly after and Sansa stuck around for a short time, before she made up some excuse and left the party, to go to her room.  
Only when she was put of the party, she realised that she didn't knew where her room was.

Okay don't panic Sansa, she told herself, just find somone and ask them to tell you were your room is.

,,You look lost."observed a already to familiar gruff voice.

Startled Sansa spun around and saw the Hound staring next to the stairs in the dark.  
The way the shadows fell on his face, didn't made his scars look any better.  
If anything it made them look worse.

,,Suprised to see my ugly face?"asked the Hound.  
And Sansa hated the fact, right now that she didn't knew his name.  
It made it scarier to be alone with a man, whose name you didn't knew.  
Almost like the monster of the bed, wich wasn't fair Sansa knew it, but she couldn't help it, he was scary.

,,Niece to see you again."answered Sansa, wich wasn't really an answer.  
But in truth she knew he would know that she was lying if she had told him that he wasn't ugly.

,,Spear me from your courtesies."growled the man and pushed himself up from the wall he was leaning on.  
Only two big steps he stood directly for her and his scarred face, was far to near to hers for her liking.

,,I am sorry, if I made you uncomfortable."apologised Sabsa immediately, but she didn't dare to look at his face.

For some time there was a pause, while she waited for his response.

Then to her suprise he laughed.  
It wasn't a happy laugh, it sounded more like a pained sound, like a dog getting kicked and howling out in pain.

,,You are sorry?  
Then why don't you look at me?  
You have all these pretty words....but my face is still to ugly isn't it?"asked the Hound and his voice sounded angry and sad at the same time.  
Furious.  
Exhausted.

Again before she could say anything he spoke again.  
,,Your room is upstairs, the third to the left."

Then he left, Sansa didn't watched him go.

Slowly she went upstairs.

............

Filled with bitterness Sandoe walked away and made his way to the room with the cameras.  
With a sigh he looked at the big clock and cused when he realisex that it was still two hours until his shift came to an end.  
Damn it.  
Fuck the Baratheons and the Lannisters.  
Fuck this job.  
This had been a hell of a day.  
All of his days seemed sometimes like that.  
I should have said in the army, thought Sandor and then grapped his phone.

For a minute of two he starred at them and tried to figure out what to do with it.  
Call someone?  
Bronn would listen to him, in truth Bronn bad repatly made it clear the he always had time.  
But Sandor repeatedly refused to spent any time with his best buddy pit of the army.  
He just couldn't, not when it reminded him so much, of what he wanted to forget so much.  
Brienne.  
She would talk and listen to him too.  
But Sandor didn't contacted her fir the same reason.  
Memories.

When he closed his eyes, he could almost perfectly imagine the battlefield, they had been on.  
Sometimes he even woke up with the sound of bullet shots in his ears.  
Sometimes it was the sound of bombs.

When he opened his eyes, he looked blankly at the screen of the computer.  
It took him almost half a minute, but in the end he did his job.  
Only two hours, until he could go back to sleep.  
To his nightmares.

.............

After Stannis had left Renly with Sansa, he had thought he was save of his younger brother.  
So, when his phone started to vibrate and he saw that he was getting a phone call, he thought why not?  
It probably was somone from work anyway.

With a look around he made sure, nobody saw him leave before he went outside into the cold night.  
There was no snow in Kingslamding, not even know in the deep winter, but it was still sometimes bitter cold.

,,Yes, Stannis Baratheon speaking?"asked Stannis coldly, ready for business.

,,It's Davos."

Immediately Stannis relaxed a littel.

,,What do you want Davos?"asked Stannis a littel more friendlier.

,,I wanted to ask if you would want to go to dinner on Friday?"asked Davos.

,,Sure. Same time, same place as usual?"asked Stannis.

,,Perfect."

,,You look happy, has Selyse finally agreed to come back?"  
For a second Stannis completly froze and let the guilt hit him.  
No, it hadn't been his wife and honestly?  
He had the feeling that she had enough of him and he?  
Stannis was finally ready to give up.  
Maybe they had been doomed from the beginning, maybe because they were too alike...  
Too cold.  
Too unattractive.  
Stannis knew that he wasn't ugly, but he wasn't good looking either.  
No, that wasn't right, it wasn't his looks, it had never been his looks....  
No, what he lacked was....charme.  
The chatme Robert akways had, the charisma.

Before Stannis turned around, he made sure to stopp smiling and went back to his usual cold and distant face expression.  
,,No, she isn't coming back."replied Stannis and finally turned around.

,,What was it then?"asked Robert and Stannus narrowed his eyes, normally Robert never pried, if anything he seemed to avoid Stannis at good as he could.  
Not that Stannis didn't understand, if anything he understood very well...they were just to diffrent, with him beeing the serious one and Robert beeing....Robert.  
Irresponsible.  
Lazy.  
Rule-ignoring.  
Stannis never understood Robert.  
That didn't mean it didn't hurt that Robert avoided him.

,,Work."replied Stannis finally.

,,So the problem is solved?"asked Robert and Stannis had only time to nodd, before he could say anything Robert was already walking away again.  
Typically.  
With a frown Stannis watched him leave.  
Once again he had severed the problems that should be Robert's problem, after all it was his company and not Stannis.  
But not a loving the problem hadn't been an option either....it was Stannis duty after all.

..............

The next morning wasn't niece to Sansa, uf anything the morning seemed to hate her, because she woke up way to early.  
At least I don't have a hungover, she thought to herself.  
But that didn't help her much, because it didn't make her less awake.  
It's only four in the morning....  
Why am I awake?

After she bad tried to sleep again for at least half an hour Sansa gave up and got up.  
While she dressed, she tried to be as quit as possible, after all she didn't wanted anyone else to have to suffer trough waking up so early.  
As quitly as she could she went downstairs and tried to figure put what to do.  
Maybe she could go for a walk...  
But what if she got lost?  
Well maybe nit a walk far away, she decided she could explore the gardens a littel more.....

...........

As soon as he opened his eyes and was greeted with the familiar darkness in his room, he slowly exhaled.  
Tge night had been a nightmare, literally, Sandor wasn't sure what he had dreamed about, he never could remember what he had dreamed...  
But he was drenched in sweat and his heart was racing adding to that he felt the familiar feeling of restlessness.  
I have to go.  
Without any hesitation he went for a quick shower before he dressed and left his littel room.

At least he knew where to go to, thought Sandor while he went downstairs, not bothering to be quiet.  
From experience he knew that no one of the family would wake up before eight in the morning.

At least he knew where to go to, thought Sandor while he made his way trough the big house.  
He would never understand why someone would need such a big house.  
To him it always felt to impersonal and too much of something you could brag about to your friends and nit enough of a home.  
In a strange way it reminded him of the apartment he grew up in, both the villa and the apartment where nothing Sandor ever felt truly comfortable in.  
He really should search for another job...  
But the money was so good...

With a sigh Sandor went trough the door out into the garden.  
It was something he often thought about.  
His job.  
He was well paid, but often enough he felt like he was working for the wrong side.  
Especially after the incident with Joffrey and the girl.....that had been a mess.  
Just another thingh that I did wrong, thought Sandor bitterly.

At least their garden is pretty, he thought while he ket his eyes wander.  
He liked the garden, not that Joffrey's knew girlfriend...no fiance would need to know off that.  
Speaking of Joffrey's finance......  
Wasn't that her.

,,What the bloody hell...?"asked Sandor himself while he looked st the fragile looking woman that was sitting on one of the chairs that were positioned in the garden for....actually Sandor wasn't sure what they were for, almost no one ever really used them.  
But there she was.  
Sitting in his spot.

..........

,,You are sitting in my spot."

With a littel shriek Sansa turned around only to face the....hound.  
Of couse it is him, thought Sansa sourly.

,,Your spot?"asked Sansa and looked up at him with a friendly smile.  
Maybe they would get along better this time.... 

,,Yes my spot, get your own one."snapped the talk man at her and starred down at her with a scowl on his face.  
That and gus crossed arms gave him a truly scary look.

Not even now he is polite....  
Well I tried, thought Sansa.

,,I didn't saw your name standing on the chair, so I fear, this isn't your spot and you will have to take one of the other two free chairs."replied Sansa with a niece smile at him.

,,Listen girl...."began Sandor.

,,I am a woman and I have a name, call me Sansa."replied Sansa immediatly.

,,Really, so now you are mustering up your courage?  
But before when your fiance ordered you around, as if he was your boss, you just let him?"shot Sandor back.

,,I am sure he didn't mean to."replied Sansa calmy and added ,,It probably was just a misunderstanding."

,,A misunderstanding?  
Joffrey doesn't misunderstand, because he never listens in the first place....  
If I were you I would call the engagement off."stated Sandor calmy as a matter of fact.

,,Well you aren't the one marrying him, so I fear......I don't care."snapped Sansa at him ,,Why thinks everybody that they can tell me, what to do and what not to?   
It's my decision."

,,Please, now you are telling me complete bullshit.  
After all your Parents arranged the wedding, because they needed money."

,,It was still my decision to go trough with the engagement."

,,You must be really stupid..."growled Sandor.

,,And you are a liar, you claimed you thought of the garden as a waste of time and money....but here you are.  
Don't you dare deny it, after you wanted me to make place for you, because I am sitting in your spot."pointed Sansa out and smiled sweetly at him.  
Slowly Sandor began to hate that smile.

,,Just because I think the garden is a waste of time and effort doesn't mean I don't like to enjoy it."snapped Sandor back.  
God, that girl was getting on his nerves!

,,You are such a hypothetical."  
What an irony.  
Sandor had always thought that his bosses were hypocrites.  
Cersei who pretended that she was a good mother, while she opened alcohol bottle after bottle.  
Robert with his beer belly, who was the owner of a company who had the most fitness centres and gyms.  
Renly who still pretended that he one day would start working in the company.  
Stannis who ignored that his marriage was dead.  
And she was calling HIM hypocritical?

Angrily he opened his mouth to snappback at her, but he restrained himself and considered his options....  
Hurt her were it hurts here the most.....

,,Do you believe in love, soulmate and stuff?"asked Sandor slowly.

,,I do, I mean how can't you?  
I am sure there is someone put there for everyone, we just have to find them...  
I mean, I don't think that's a completly perfect match, more like a perfect imperfect match you know?"asked Sansa him with a genuine smile.

Do you really think there is some out there for everyone?  
Even for me..?  
No.  
It's just a lie people tell themselves.  
There are no soul mates.  
Not for you.  
Sure as hell not for me.  
For no one.

,,You are marrying Joffrey, that makes you a hypocrite too."replied Sandor statisfied and annoyed.  
Hiw could she still tell him this shit, when she was marrying damn fucking Joffrey?  
What was wrong with her?

,,No, I am not a hypocrite and you know why?  
Because I think I will love him, maybe it's just fate....destiny if you want to call it that....but I think that he's my soulmate."said Sansa softly and dreamy.  
Her blue eyes looked up at the sky and there was a small smile on her face....  
God damn it, that woman had lost it...., thought Sandor.

,,If Joffrey is your soulmate then your soul must be truly terrible to match his."growled Sandor at her.  
And unless she was playing some kind of farçe, he couldn't believe that.  
Sure, she was way too polite, naive and lost in her dreamy perfect world....  
But she wasn't Joffrey.

,,Hiw can you say that?  
He's perfect....  
He is charming and niece and he is even a real gentleman.  
That we met that was perfect, that was fate."replied Sansa wuth a smile and then looked at him ,,One day that will happen to you too."

One day?  
To him?  
The odds for that were very bad......

,,Don't assume thinghs that you don't know anything about.  
And for the fate part.....  
Don't get to lost in your fairy tales Sansa, you husband is no prince and you aren't a princess.  
And unless you actually do something instead of letting everyone decided for you, you won't ever find love."


	4. Chapter 4

,,You should show her the city."

,,Why?"asked Joffrey simply back.

,,She's your fiance, you will marry her soon, use it to get to know her."snapped Robert back and already looked annoyed.

,,Maybe I won't marry her then."shot Joffrey back and looked outraged at his father, who was already starting to leave for work.

,,You are going to marry her."assured Robert him coldly ,,You agreed and now you have to go trough with it."  
And then he turned around and left his house as fast as possible.

As soon as the engine started roaring, he started to relax, but only when he couldn't see his house anymore he truly relaxed.  
With a bitter smile Robert thought, I am almost like Stannis...feeling into my work.  
Sometimes Robert even envied Stannis, because his wife was at least not in the country.  
Hell Selyse wasn't even on the same continent as Stannis was.  
Damn it, Robert envied his brother, even trough he knew how much it must hurt Stannis that his wife wouldn't come home.

..............

,,What do you want?"

Fair enough, thought Sandor, you don't like me I don't like you- let's not pretend otherwise.  
So no damn fucking politeness this time.

,,I am here to show you the city."  
That definitely got her attention.

,,What?"

,,I am going to show you the city."repeated Sandor slowly.

,,I heared that, what I meant to say was, why?"

,,Because I am getting paid to."answered Sandor truthfully.

,,I thought you were a bodyguard."replied Sansa, still confused.

,,Head of security."corrected Sandor her immediatly and then added ,,But today I am all yours."

,,Is Joffrey coming with us?"asked Sansa hopefully.

No, you are stuck with me, thougt Sandor, so stop smiling.

,,No that's why I am here."pointed Sandor annoyed out, why did she have to question everything?  
Wasn't it obvious?

,,Is he busy?"asked Sansa disappointed.

,,Not really, he just doesn't want to."and then Sandor grimly smiled at her ,,Let's go have fun shopping."

..........

While Sandor drove Sansa tried to figure out what she had done wrong....  
Was it because she hadn't behaved good at the party yesterday?  
That couldn't be it she had done all the appropriate thinghs....   
Was it somethingh she had said?  
How she had acted?  
Or was it somethingh she hadn't done?

,,Stopp looking as if I kidnapped you and forced you to do this, you could have said no."snapped the Hound at her.

The Hound.  
She wondered what his real name was.  
Maybe somethingh normal....like Oliver or maybe somethingh more fancy.

,,I will stopp looking kidnapped, if you tell me your name."replied Sansa while she stopped looking out of the window and looked at the sitting in the front driving the car.

,,You don't need to know my name."came the grumpy reply immediatly.

,,That's exactly what a kidnapper would say to."pointed Sansa out.

,,Believe me if I would have kidnapped you, you wouldn't be able to ask that question, because you would be lying in the trunk."told the Hound her dryly.

,,That sounds like you gave it an awful lot thought...."

,,What can I say I am only a human beeing and with Joffrey.....beeing Joffrey....a man can dream."replied the Hound amused.

,,Shouldn't you at least pretend to like him, after all he is the one paying you, isn't he?"

,,No, he isn't it's actually his father who is paying me and I think he agrees with me on some points."answered the Hound grimly.

,,But why do you even stay if you despises Joffrey so much?  
There must be a lot of other jobs......"pointened Sansa out.

,,The job pays a lot."replied the Hound shortly.

,,That's all it is about?  
Money?"asked Sansa soundind disappointed.

,,Of course it is, you will soon realises that it's all about money."answered the Hound bitterly.

,,It isn't for me."replied Sansa stubbornly.

,,You only say that because you have so much if it."snapped the Hound, clearly starting to lose his patience.

,,You don't even know me!  
How can you assume so easily that I am a spoiled brat?"snapped Sansa back.

This time the Hound said nothingh, instead he jerked the driving wheel around at the next turn and started taking a different route.

,,What are you doing?"asked Sansa with a strained voice.

,,Araid littel one?"asked the Hound gruff back.

,,I don't what to be part of your kidnapping plan...."replied Sansa carefully.

,,You aren't."assured the Hound her.

,,What is our destination?"asked Sansa again.

But this time the Hound didn't bothered with any answer, instead he kept driving determined.  
It took Sansa some time to accept that she wouldn't get an answer, but after she had realised that she looked put of the window.  
Slowly she could see the face of the city changing the houses started to get taller and less....expanise, there was no other word for it.  
And with the change if the houses the street changed too, it became older and smaller.  
Most of the houses had graffiti on them, some only one some up to ten or twenty.  
A lot of the graffiti were just pain or ugly, but a few of them, the minority was beautiful.

,,Still thinking that money isn't important?"asked the Hound quitly while he stopped the car at an old basketball field that looked like it was in dire need of a renovation.

,,It's beautiful."said Sansa abesnt minded while she starred out of the window.

,,What?"asked the Hound with a frown starting to form on his face.

,,The graffiti....it's beautiful."repeated Sansa sliwly while she keeped starring out of the window.

The Hound turned his head and looked at the graffiti critically.  
,,It's not bad I suppose."was his only comment.

,,Not bad?"asked Sansa with an unbelieving laugh ,,I love it....are there more of them?"

,,Maybe."replied the Hound.  
This wasn't what he had in mind when he brought them here.  
All in all it was the opposite of what he wanted to achieve when he brought them to the basketball field.

,,Maybe we could walk around and search for some more like this."suggested Sansa with a hopeful smile.

,,Sure."replied the Hound, at least no shopping he thought.

He had to admit he had never looked at the graffiti as she had, for him they were just there....  
They had kind of always been there, sure the graffiti would change, but the fact that there were graffiti wouldn't change.  
Only then Sandor realised that beauty indeed had surrounded him, he just never saw it.  
And of course the fact that most graffiti were ugly didn't help.

,,This issues much better then doing somethingh stupid like shopping."

Wait what?  
With wide eyes Sandor starred at her.  
Had she really just said that?

,,I thought you loved shopping."commented Sandor before he could help it.  
Evry woman loves shopping, don't they?

,,Not really, I like having company and doing sonethingh with them.  
But I have to admit that shopping isn't mine.....  
Do you like to go shopping?"asked Sansa and looked at him curiously.

,,Of course not!"exclaimed Sandor once again feeling he just watched Sansa losing her sanity.

,,Why not?"asked Sansa with a frown.

,,Why not?  
Why not!  
It's just.....you know."replied Sandor ,,I mean just lpolnat me girl, are you blind?"

,,That's not a good way to use language and you know isn't a real answer.  
I m mean I get it people always think girly woman like me love shopping, it's a complete stereotype, but okay.  
But I don't like it."pointed Sansa coldly out ,,Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I love shopping."

,,So that is some weird feminine thingh?"asked Sandor amused.  
Of course, he thought, why else should see not love shopping.

,,No, it isn't you can be a feminist and love shopping or you can hate it.  
Loving shopping and beeing a feminist has nothingh to do with each other."told Sansa and starred at him angrily.

It amused Sandor to no end ,,Really always thought feminist basically wanted to get rid off everything a woman is and become...."that was when Sansa interrupted him.

,,Men?"she asked drily ,,No, they want to become some sort of men, they want to stay woman.  
And I have to add that you don't have to be a stereotype to be a woman or man."

,,But don't most woman like shopping?"asked Sandor, feeling as if he had to defend themselves.

,,Yes, I think so, but that doesn't mean that man can't enjoy it too, does it?  
But honestly don't you think that it would be weird that a man goes shopping?"asked Sansa.

,,Probably."replied Sandir confused, what she wanted from him..

,,And that's because we have such stereotypes.  
I am pretty sure that at least some man would enjoy shopping like woman do it......"

.................

,,Sansa is an angel."told Robert proudly and his boys eyes sparkled.

,,Joffrey is still Joffrey."pointed Stannis coldly out.

,,So what he isn't a bad boy."replied Robert with a shrugg.

Stannis probably would have laughed right now, if he was somone who loved.  
But Stannis beeing Stannis he didn't laugh.  
,,We both now that Joffrey isn't good."pointed Stannis codly out.

,,You are just jealous, because you are stuck with a wife that has avoided you and the daughter have for the last years."replied Robert ,,Don't you ever think about divorcing her?"

,,I won't do that to her."replied Stannis without any hesitation.

Sweet, how his brother thought that Selyse would see anything else then an advantage in divorcing him.  
But naive too.

,,You won't even have to worry about getting custody of your child, I bet Selyse will be glad to be rid of her too."pointed Robert with a shrugg out.

,,Don't say it like that."snapped Stannis at him.

Amused Robert raised an eyebrow.  
That his brother showed emotion was so rare....it was utterly suprising.  
And amusing.

,,Why not?"asked Robert.

,,She is a good child."answered Stannis once again as cold as normally.

Poor child thought Robert, to have my littel brother as her father.  
How cold he must be towards her....  
How unloved she must feel....

...............

They came back late, noticed Cersei, when she watched the uneven pair come to the villa.  
The few glasses of red wine had helped Cersei once again trough the day and she almost missed them coming back home altogether.  
But as soon as she had seen them she felt jealous.  
They were so young, so full of energy...  
She always felt down and only the alcohol could save her from Robert's coldness and the difficulties her children were.  
And they even were smiling!  
Cersei tried to rember when the last time had been, she had smiled...

,,How was it?"asked Cersei bringing out the words painfully slow.  
Maybe she had a littel too much wine, she admitted to herself.  
But that was with it and it wasn't as if it was a problem...  
No it wasn't.

,,Great the art in this city....."began Sansa yo chiron while the Hound glared at her.

Cersei had found him always strange, he could have been good looking, maybe, if he hadn't been covered in scars.  
And then there was his attitude, she didn't like it one bit.

,,The art, you took her to a museum?"asked Cersei.  
How could he do that?  
Sure the Hound wasn't exactly bright, but one would think he was smarter then that....  
Obviously not.

,,No."said the Hound.  
No explanation.  
Just no.  
One of the reasons, why she didn't like him.  
One of many.  
If she had been the one to hire him, she would have fired him long ago....  
But then she never would have hired him in the first place.  
Robert had probably only hired that dreadful man, because he knew how much Cersei would despise him.

,,He took me to see some great graffiti."explained Sansa cheerfully.

,,Graffiti?"echoed Cersei unbelieving.  
Were had Clegane taken the boot girl too?  
And what about Graffiti was great anyway?  
They once had to deal with some graffiti on the walls that some teenager most have sprayed there and they had to paint it completly over, because the Graffiri was so ugly.

,,Yes, it was beautiful."answered Sansa and beamed at Cersei ,,Maybe you could look at it one time too.  
It's really good work."she said and smiled at Cersei hopefully.

,,Graffiti is trash and dirty."told Cersei Sansa with a frown ,,It is vandalism and a crime."

,,Maybe some..."tried Sansa yo compromise.

,,Not some, all of them...everything there is dirty."Cersei explained.

..............

Back home.  
It didn't much looked like a home trough.  
Even after all these years the walls were bare and there was nothingh that told you, yes this is my home.  
If Sandor had removed the furniture and his clothes you could have sold the place.

Sometimes he viewed to himself that he would change the place, that he maybe could decorate it a littel.....  
But he always found some excuse or other to not do it...  
Sometimes it was work.  
Sometimes he was too exhausted or he had no time or he simply didn't feel in the right mood.  
And one time when he had actually bravely gone to a store nothing had fitted, nothing had been good enough.  
Nothingh had matched his taste.  
He knew of course that that was just an excuse, but in the end he had no problem with lying to himself.  
He did it evry day after all and told himself that he couldn't get too attached.  
Told himself that Bronn and Brienne never could really be his friends.

Slowly he let his fingers trace the scars on his face.  
They felt weird to him too raw, too soft, too monstrous, not human, weird.  
In an instant he thought of Sansa and if the way she looked at the world.  
He wondered if he had ever been as naive as she was, and if he had ever looked at the world like she had.  
Were he had seen nothing she had spotted beauty.  
Maybe my face matches my personality.

,,Meow."  
With a frown Sandor looked down to his feet and was greeted with two black, dark eyes looking back.  
Slowly he looked away, because he knew how much Stranger if you starred at him.  
Then he took the cat up into his arms and started petting him.

,,I know, it is boring isn't it?I am working all day and you..."began Sandor and sat down with the cat on his lap.  
It felt so good to talk to his cat and have no one talk back.  
No expectations.  
No fear.  
No disgust.  
Nothingh.  
No reaction at all.  
He loved it.

..............

At the next breakfast Sansa tried.  
,,We could go and watch some sport game."suggested Sansa with a smile.

,,I am not interested."pointed Joffrey bored out.

,,Maybe the cinema then?  
Or we just could go and take a walk trough the garden?"tried Sansa, but she grew less and less hopeful.  
Why couldn't he just say yes to one of the suggestions or make some himself?  
What had she done wrong?

,,The garden? Are you really such a prude, it's so boring."complained Joffrey bored and took a sip from his coffee and scrunched his face, when he realised it didn't had the perfect temperature.

,,It's not boring it is beautiful."argued Sansa quietly, but she didn't dare to say it out loud, because she was afraid to upset Joffrey.

,,Maybe we could go to a party and have a littel fun."made Joffrey finally a suggestion and looked at her with a smug smile.  
Slowly he let his look wander over her and Sansa instantly wanted to cover herself up, even trough she was fully appropriate clothed.  
,,We really could have some fun."he slowly said.

,,I don't think your daddy will congratulate you if you molest the girl he wants you to marry."pointed a rough voice out.

Startled both of them looked over to the Hound entering.  
He didn't look happy, instead he looked tired and exhausted....maybe even a littel angry already.

,,It's your shop to protect me not yet."snapped Joffrey at him ,,Don't forget that dog."  
And with that he stormed out like the Drama King he was.

,,I almost got him to agree to something."snapped Sansa almost angrily at the Hound.

,,Be glad that you didn't."told Sandor her, before he walked away without another word.

Sansa watched him go and then sat down and ate her breakfast.  
It was really good, she observed, it was even perfect you could say.  
Now that she wasn't hungry anymore that still left her with a few issues.  
For one there was Joffrey, even trough she hated to admit it Arya was right, the guy was awful.  
And then their was Sandor in some ways he was awful too, but at least he was an honest awful man.

........

The grade was beautiful, Sandor had to admit and looked at it with a half smile.  
From his favourite chair he could see the best part the already flowering threes.  
He had no idea what kind of three and why they were already producing flowers, but he liked them.  
Next to them he could see some other bushes wich would start to flower next.  
He liked that.

And the best part were the littel birds, chirping in the thress and bushes and constantly moving.  
Probably searching for food and a place to breed and raise their children.  
Maybe searching for a partner.  
But for them it would be simply, they didn't have much to think Sandor thought they simply had to survive long enough to produce a next generation.  
Maybe life would be easier, if I were like them, with nothing to worry about.

He wondered what the chirping the birds made was for.  
It sounded pretty enough, but seemed meaningless to him.  
Like Sansas courtesies.  
He wondered if she ever really said what she wanted too, or if she was always polite.  
She is like one of these littel birds, who is living in her own world and has no idea what is going on around her......

............

For some time Sansa only starred at the thinghs she had unpacked.  
There were some clothes and other necessary thinghs.  
Abd there were some thinghs she had brought to pass the time with them.  
Her books for an instance or her smartphone.  
But she didn't feel in the right mood for them.  
No, she wanted somethingh different....

There she was walking determined towards a niece part to the garden and Sandor was beginning to wonder what she was up to.  
It made him curious to see her walk around observing the garden and then....what the hell was she doing?

Before his eyes she sat down into the grass and opened a....sketching book, hell if Sandor knew.  
And then she started drawing.  
Sandor couldn't have been more suprised.  
And he wasn't even sure why it felt so damn weird.  
But then he tried to imagine anyone else from the rich people he knew beeing the one who painted.  
They would never do that, he realised, they never seem to cast another look at the garden.  
And Sandor knew they did that because they took the garden with all its beauty for granted.  
But Sansa?  
It seemed like she understood that the garden was truly beautiful a place full of small and littel perfections.

...........

,,What is she doing?"

Her sons voice interrupted Cerseis reading session and she looked wearily over to him, standing at the window.  
He was so grown up now, she thought, a man soon to be married.  
Sometimes she feared what it would be like with him gone.  
Worse what would it be like with all the children gone?  
One day they wouldn't be living at home anymore and what sould Cersei do then?  
She already dreaded the day when her only real company that awaited her at home would be Robert.

,,Mom?"asked Joffrey again, starting to sound annoyed.  
He had been always a littel impatient, thought Cersei with a smile.

Slowly she got up and walked over to him and followed his gaze to Sabnsa....what was she doing?  
With a frown she tried to figure out what the woman was doing.....

,,I think she is painting."answered Cersei and felt completly suprised herself.

,,But why?"asked Joffrey with a whine.

With a sigh Cersei looked at the young woman,,I have no idea."

,,I don't want her to do that, I want her to do thinghs with me."objected Joffrey and starred jealous at Sansa.

,,Then go get her."replied Cersei.

................

,,What are you doing?"asked Sandor to his own suprise, saying the words before he realised he had said them.

,,Painting."replied Sansa simply as if that was what normal people did.

,,Why?"asked Sandor simply and fixed his grey eyes on her.  
He got that sone people liked art like the one in the museums.  
He personally never had, it was him to much pretend and to much fake.

,,I like it, it makes me think that I make the world a littel more beautiful."answered Sansa with her soft voice.  
It was such a...weird answer that it immediatly reminded Sandor again of the littel birds.  
Maybe she should join them, thought Sandor grimly, she already had the personality like one.

,,If you want to make the world more beautiful you should get me out of it."raised Sandor coldly.  
And it was true, everyone knew it and if no one ever said it to him, it was only because they were frightened of his reaction.  
They feared him, that much Sandor knew, but he also knew that they worshiped about him.  
Talked about how ugly he was, how much effort it took to not flinch evry time they had to look at him.

,,Don't say somethingh like that."protested Sansa immediatly.

,,Why not, it is true isn't it."replied Sandor codly.

,,It isn't."argued Sansa immediatly back ,,You aren't ugly."  
It feels like an especially cruel lie coming from her.

,,Then look at me."demands Sandor furiously and can't hide the anger in his voice that seems to turn his words into acid.

,,Don't or else your eyesight will be permanently damaged."warns Joffrey her with an awful smile, but his green eyes seem cruel to her.

Sansa us already opening her mouth to apologise, but the Hound is already storming off without another word.  
Watching him go stiffly away Sansa feels as of she messed up - again.

,,Why are you painting?"asks Joffrey and looks at the garden as if he sees it for the first time.  
He doesn't seems to like what he sees, because he swiftly looks back at her again.  
Before she can answer him, he is already interrupting her ,,The garden is so boring....we should go somethingh wich makes fun, like going to a party."

And after that it only takes a few minutes and Sansa finds herself sitting in the back seat of an expensive car, next to Joffrey who beams at her.  
When she looks at the driver seat she can see the Hound grinding his teeth and evry time she tries to catch his eye in the mirror he looks away.

It makes Sansa sick to think that the Hound actually belies that she thinks he is ugly.  
No one should think of themselves as ugly, think Sansa determined and it saddens her that the hound seems to think that it is the truth.  
How must it feel to think of yourself as ugly?  
Does he flinch, when he sees himself in the mirror?  
Are there times when he wonders, what if....  
Indeed.  
What if?  
If he had no scars....  
Would I think he is handsome?  
Would he be different?  
Less hateful....  
Softer?  
Maybe.  
But then.  
Maybe that's the way he is.

Then the car stops and Joffrey grasps her by her arm and drags her to the party.  
She only manages once to look back at the car and to her suprise the Hound follows them.  
Of course she scolds herself then, after all he is Joffreys bodyguard, it is his job to look after him she tells herself.

Still she would have preferred it if she could avoid him for some time before trying to what?  
Apologise?  
Once again Sansa tried to figure out what she had done wrong.  
She had tried hadn't she?  
Maube I should have said more....  
If Joffrey hadn't interrupted us...  
Then what?  
Could I have convinced him?  
I told him that I think he isn't ugly...  
But he doesn't listen...  
So stubborn...  
Like Arya.  
Damn them both.  
Always making it harder for themselves.  
Damn it.  
I will have to use something he understands....

All while Sabsa was absently minded trying to figure out what to do in order to show Sandor how wrong he was, she quietly followed Joffrey.  
When he finally stopped at the bar she sat next to him.

,,What are you doing?"asked Joffrey with a frown over the loud and chaotic music.

,,I followed you."explained Sansa once again feeling foolish.

,,Why would you do such a stupid thing?"asked Joffrey irritated and looked at her as if he had walked into dog shit and was trying to figure out how to get rid of it.

,,I thought you wanted to spent time with me."replied Sansa softly barely audible with the loud music.

,,I said I wanted to have fun, not that I wanted to be with you."clarified Joffrey and looked at her coldly then he added ,,I will go and have fun just stay her and try to relax, maybe you will understand what fun is then."

While Joffrey left Sansa sadly watched him and tried to figure put why he was so angry again.

............

He felt as of he was beeing watched.  
Even trough it was highly unlikely he looked around himself and checked if anyone had followed him.  
There was no one.  
Of course, he thought, why should there be someone?  
It wasn't even as if he was doing something illegal, he wasn't even doing something unethical.  
Not really.  
If anything it was in the grey zone a mix out of the black and white.  
He grinned his teeth at that thought.  
So many people had told him to relax and remembered him that life wasn't black and white.  
Sill.  
He never could understand how they could say that.  
In his eyes there was always a right and a wrong decision you could chose from.  
And if that wasn't given there was at least one decision worse then the other.

Dryly he swallowed and entered the dinner, wich was dimly lit.  
It wasn't one of the fancy restaurants he usually visited, instead it was a small and simple.  
Like then man he was meeting.  
Immediatly he felt guilty and paranoid at once.

I am doing nothingh wrong, he told himself.  
What about your daughter?, whispered a littel voice inside his head.  
She likes him, responded he angrily.

,,Over here."called the familiar voice and Stannis immedialy relaxed.

Slowly he made his way over and sat disn opposite to Davos who smiled at him.

,,Hard day at work?"asked Davos with a soft smile.

,,Yes."replied Stannis, after all it had been a hard day at work, with Robert every day at work was hard.  
But it was a white lie, he thought guilty, because that wasn't what truly worried him.  
I shouldn't lie he thought, not even if it is a white lie.

,,I don't know if this is right."blurted Stannis out.

Without having to ask what Stannis meant Davos put his hand on Stannis and squeezed it gently.

,,We aren't doing anything."told Davos him once again.

,,But you want more don't you?"asked Stannis and looked at Davos.  
This was new for both of them.  
But Stannis thought it was an issue between them ir would become one.

,,We don't have to do what I want."replied Davos slowly.

,,We haven't done anything you want for years."pointed Stannis softly put and felt so damn guilty and sad.  
Looking at Davos.  
Looking at his smuggler.  
He had gone such a long way from beeing a criminal to beeing a honest man.  
He deserves more then me, thought Stannis.  
He should have somone who can love him back without feeling guilty.  
He deserves a home.  
Someone who can give him what he wants.  
Someone who isn't married.

,,You are married I get that."argumented Davos with a warm smile.  
Always so understanding.

,,She sent me dicorcee papers."told Stannis him devastated.  
It shouldn't suprise him at much as it did.  
But it did.

,,What?"asked Davos as suprised as he had been.  
Had Selyse wanted to divorce him after she had left he would have understood her, but after uera went by....

,,I signed them."


End file.
